Stop seeing yourself as having a disorder, it is not, many brilliant minds in history had learning disorders, but they were not treated, and they thrived, because success was measured differently back then. I got him back finally yes i did, but i can fail to say i did not use the normal way. I become very social and interested when Im on it, but my dose only lasts the first part of the day. I am ill, what I did in my 20s led to 30s with holes in my brain. She sometimes mixes alchohal with the pill which only makes the fights worst. Adderall has 100% ruined my life. Was this drug ever controlling over him and over me to the point that everything we had was a lie ? I know the second the amphetamine has kicked in and know then that any chancre we have for authentic connection and communication are gone for the day. Rx but faked the test. Exploration of yourself gets a lot easier when you are seeing struggle (naturally human) as opposed to crisis or even worse, damage. I know this all sound crazy but its so true and real life so. I supported her not knowing what was about to happen. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . I never even thought about the side affects of this drug, I was blind to what was actually going on. It literally only took me three weeks at most to realize I was living a life of a sad person because I was too busy being drugged to realize I was living with the wrong person. now, i dont really give a shit about not feeling like myself when im studying & feeling like im gonna kick my tests ass in a few days! In other words you can say she was very sexy, attractive and hard to resist. Either way, I honestly think that she is eventually going to regret breaking up with me and call.. A challenge instead of a problem huh, very interesting. This was after four year of dating. In order to function properly one must continue his increased dose as dropping down will only make you take more. For the last 2 years I have been on and off of it and I hate that I cannot function without it.I don't know where to begin to fix myself. We have been friends for many years and my love for him has blossomed over time. ok im done. I am on adderall so it turned into a story instead.. Her response was oh I was only upset because you wouldnt be around to take care of our grandparents. Its not like that all the time of course. Many of these millennials have since become addicted to Adderallprescribed or notand their drug habits are accompanying them into the workplace: The number of American workers who tested positive for amphetamines increased by 44 percent between 2011 and2015. So my mood and all pretty much stabilized and I was eating everything in site. Fast forward and other 2 weeks or so and shes speaking with another guy. He has some health problems and as a result we have not been intimate for many years. Page 1 of 2 - How I ruined myself by starting an Uridine stack - posted in Brain Health: Ive been struggling for some mental issues for several years now: anxiety anhedonia low mood fatigue depression poor stress response headache gone-like libido I dont exacly know the origin of these problems but now I can only suspect overtraining (going to gym was almost a compulsive behaviour for me) and . I don't have an answer yet, but I know that we need to differentiate between REASONING which is always good, and THINKING which is too chaotic to organize and understand other than too much of it turns toward rumination and inner conflict. Is that for me to decide? I might have tried to quit to stay with her, but then Id sneak in a pill here and there, gradually get back on the routine, and lie about it until she found out. I havent seen him since he quit and dont know if he even cares for me anymore. You went too far by demanding that he stop. She provided me with all the love you could give. My heart goes out each of you. Any other coping mechanisms to try? If someone could give me advice Id appreciate it. The Pursuer/DistancerEffect also relates to why confidence and independence can be so attractive (because inpendence is in some ways a willingness to distance), and why smothering and dependence can be so repulsive (too much pursuit makes you want to distance). I tried all i could do to have him back to all did not work out until i met Dr baba nnaji on this forum. I'll never forget the look on my sister's face when she saw me. I do love you and love paying attention to you. My ex would tell me that I was being a ass and being mean and not caring about her feelings and I just kept denying it and denying it. Put simply, the Pursuer/Distancer Effect in a romantic relationship is this: When one person distances (pulls away), it often makes the other person instinctively try to pull them back closer (pursue). The reality is that finding a solution to a lowered libido caused by antidepressants isn't simple. Her face is always twitching and has a blank look to her. Although a great combo I cannot say much good about this one either. It was like he got tired of me or something. (2) you need a divorce in your relationship And waiting and fearfulness and confusion. ADHD is not a disorder, it is a different way of thinking, instead of being medicated growing up i was allowed to flourish. Some other days, maybe something SLIGHTY bad happens, and immediately triggers me that voice in the head "GO AMPHETAMINES". Its like I want his attention to some extent but when he gives it to me I dont want it anymore. he accuses me of being clingy and angry when im just frustrated with his addiction. But when I spoke to her she said they were soulmates. I was doing ok until my Doc prescribed Adderall. My brother went down the same paranoid path which ended with death by a gun to his mind that he couldn't stop. Who am I? Though we dating again with the help of a great and reliable witchdoctor Metodo Acamu, it still hurts a lot that i had to pass through all those pain. It works but do I even need it or was the adderall just making me more anxious? On the other hand, the other person would probably welcome you leaning on them more because they are way more into you than you are into them. She had been on vyvanse a few years back and lost a lot of weight but we still managed to keep things together. I begged him to come back to me. But, I remember my sister's face when she saw me literally starving myself to death and being completely hyped up on pills that had been prescribed to me as far back as the sixth grade. by Zara Barrie. Adderall and Vyvanse have ruined my life? - Drugs.com That was what my twin sister is all about. He made me feel like trash like am good for nothing and he called me fat and ugly. She then responded with stating she is at peace, she loves herself, she is using her third eye (another concept I do believe in), and that she believed I was just scared of myself. NO!!! Im constantly being non-committal and pushing her away and she feels like I never tell her anything about what Im thinking. I am blown away when I read the stories on this site. Yep Adderall is the easy way to escape your feelings, but I know those feelings are still there Somewhere. But do you really need to achieve good grades AND a full load? He has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now. My heart is Gregs heart is broken. My friends asked me to stop fooling myself trying to make him love me again but i was too in love i mean the heart wants what it wants right? And when I also approached my cousin about it she said Im picking up on his past, and hes an amazing, powerful and inspirational person Currently my cousin and I are no longer German speaking and I feel the only way I will get her back to her own thought process is if I can convince her to stop taking the Adderall However she wont listen to me, the only ones she reports to now is herself and this guy all because they are twin souls. Heavy drinking increases the risk of certain health conditions and exacerbates mental illness. Try to look at this as an intensive course of study with the subject being you. I have so many emotions inside me and I dont know if its even right for me to be having these emotions because I love and care about him so much. I dont believe this attraction problem is dopamine, I believe it is oxytocin a hormone responsible for love and attraction, I am convinced adderall depletes it. Its much easier and less stressful to be on the distancer side because, by definition, youre not stressing the relationship much on the distancer sideyoure not thinking about it much at all, and thats what makes you seem distant. I used to only take 30 but now I pop an extra 10 and another 10 when I feel like it. Our divorce was finalized 4 months After I had our baby, It was so painful I wouldt wish that amount of pain on my worst enemy! When it wears off she is clingy. So, I responded to the challenge of entering the working world by rendering myself as helpless as possible. It almost felt like he was about to pull my script. I refuse to accept abuse and justify it with their illness leading to pity that never ends and EVERY boundary is pushed to the f***ing limit!!!! Im not happy, but Im not sad either. The looks you get when you people find out you are on this med from the pharmacists, the doctors, the nurses, the teachers are enough to make you want to lock yourself away from the rest of society. Its for this reason that dopamine is so heavily implicated in current models of addiction. Dont be afraid to be honest about your limitations and fears, your strengths and weaknesses. You always have a choice. Thank You for sharing your story and don't forget the power of prayer! I want my old self back and I hope in time Im able to find that person again. I do not benefit from this drug at all and I still take it. I told him I missed the person he used to be (happy-go-lucky, lots of fun). Vanderbilt student kills kills self on train tracks after abusing study drug. He said he didnt like how he was treating me, and felt like there was nothing he could do about it. Since then things have been cleared up and we are back together happily. thats not a bad thing but i really want Caleb to care a little bit about a lot of the important issues in the world. For the past 3 months Ive been trying to figure this out, thinking that I was the one who was crazy. I would strongly suggest finding a local NA group and going as often as possible also AA groups help. Of course being an empath myself I had to remove myself from their conversations because the things they were posting hurt my heart and made me cry way too often. I dont know what to do. I can say 100% now that taking and becoming terribly addicted to adderall ruined my life professionally and socially. Anyways did not mean to steer off topic there just blurting my thoughts out. I am so over joyful as my month can not start to say all that really happened, It happened when i saw Ajayi advert online talking about been the best when there are so many spell casters online that i have used that has failed me.I spent almost close to $8000 dollars online for those spell casters that ripped me off my money without any result. Even if you didnt ask, the tension would be so thick and both of you would be thinking about his Adderall usage. lost my wife to adderall - HealthBoards I privately messaged my cousin, I told her I did not like this guy, I could tell he was a bad person and I could not handle what he was doing to her. I mean we all know those line i have used them and we all have the next words are always I think we should take a break which mean i want out of this relationship. consider it. Abuse is abuse, it takes different forms, but derives from the same progenitor. Your significant other will have one of two reactions to all of your Adderall-induced pushing away/distancing: either it will make them more attracted to you, or it will be too much and make them wish for somebody who could fulfill their emotional needs a little more. I knew of the mood swings, irritability, extreme sleepiness, all of the side effects of his crashes when he ran out, but we didnt live together before we married so hed try to manage his crashes to happen whenever we were apart. It is not just adderall your birth control, your NSAIDS, your anti-depressants are messing with you in more ways than one. He helped me a lot he sent a package for me with ups of which i paid for to get to me from an international. Her children beg my mom to apologize so they can see her again. No excuse not to go they are free go look NA up online now find a meeting and go tonight or tommrow good luck. He didn't always pay attention to me, and his mind always seemed to be focused on something else. I have felt like I am walking on eggshells for the majority of our relationship because I never know what mood he is going to be in. My ex boyfriend and I met when we were 18. he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. I think he has been taking adderall for over ten years. I love her a lot. They were also the first generation of Americans to habitually abuse these prescribed stimulants as study drugs well into high school and college (a 2012 review found that the nonmedical use of these pills represent the second most prevalent form of illicit drug use in college, afterweed). But even the best angels can get impatient with the negative side-effects of quitting. Most of the staff will be in recovery themselves, they'll cook for you, schedule your daily activities and be there for you 24/7 if needed. I have been taking adderall for 3 years, and I feel like I need to stop. I hope this wears off soon. ANY drug can be abused and destroy lives including over-the-counter medications. Despite the very real warning signsmore than 116,000 people were admitted to rehab for an addiction to amphetamines like Adderall in 2012theres still not nearly enough research out there on exactly how extended Adderall use affects the brain. Im okay with that too. We had talked about how Adderall effects him before he started taking it (he would only take it when he felt stressed at school), and he warned me that he would change. You may have a lot more fun. The more compassion I have for her the less she has for me. Then she began taking Adderall and she came home one day, broke up with Greg out of the blue after 7.5 years together and she laughed at him and his broken heart. As your memory will probably tell you, it can be agonizing to be on the pursuer side. Before fentanyl was the demon drug du jour, meth was seen as the worst, most destructive, most evil chemical you could find on the streets. Fast forward to 2 weeks or so and she contacted me explaining she no longer wanted to be with Greg. In general, how afraid of losing your significant other are you? Thatsunclear. How Adderall ruined my career in finance | Wall Street Oasis I had to take it for college or I would have never finished. Your only hope is to warn the other person first. I quit when my boyfriend broke up with me, and was immediately struck with intense guilt about who I was and the way I treated him. When he becomes distant it is hard to not feel disconnected with him. I guess should I be hopeful and patient? I thought I knew him but how could I have possibly really knew him if now Im looking back and trying to figure out what was a lie and what was the truth ? So I get to NC and I get to my ex bf whom became my boyfriend again, we date, I do not get on my plane home and we begin planning a life together. You are not. It began when my college boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was six months away from entering into the adult world alone. I explained I was not scared of myself, and that I was scared of her and that I could see she was not the person I knew just 2 months ago! I dont think he even knew how dangerous this drug can be to people. She told him to get over it and that she couldnt handle his negatively. Im sorry that was incredibly long I wanted to be as detailed as possible. the pill creates illusions of thought from confident to grandiose all the way to feeling like your nothing and even feeling inferior. Basically I stay focused on all the wrong stuff and waste a bunch of time trying to control a lot of things. I want to thank Dr. PAUL for helping me through the worst times of my life, for being such a great spell caster, and for giving me a love spell that has brought me so much joy by bringing my boy friend back to me. Answer (1 of 4): The desire for any type of drug is likely to spoil both the personal and professional life of anybody. I get it, theyre busy. For starters: Dont pop when you feel like it. You will find a way to get it done after you are adderall free. Shes at peace with herself and her past and I wouldnt understand. Im sorry that your post is being invaded by a continuing user. Adderall absorbs you in everything around you. Try to keep your health as much as you can. But today I'm trying to accept that this Higher Power My God has a plan and I only need to know and do MY part and that means taking care of me and saying it's ok for me to find happiness even though the person I love the most is dying before my eyes!! As a legit ADHDer, I resent your 'name', but moving on from that, the trouble with amphetamines, from what I gathered reading about it (never actually got to try any despite dx) is that it ends up depleting your dopamine reserves, or trashing your ability to produce enough of it, resulting in deficiency. It was so magically that i cant just explain it. Thanks for your comment. I cheated on the love of my life with my ex boyfriend who had treated me horribly. I did find a non stimulant alternative natural that controlled my adhd, but it is addictive, it is called Kratom. This site is for anybody who struggles with Adderall useat any stage. Its not that hard to get off, you just cant have anything important at all in your life. I hope I move on, but the day that hes off medication and realizes he still loves me will break my heart and a part of me will always be broken. All since taking adderall. She started to post pictures of child in third world countries starving to death and being tortured and laughed about it. Quitting Adderall How to Quit Adderall Addiction for Good! I am considering it. I met my ex boyfriend in highschool in NC, we dated and we had a pretty rough break up but he was my first love. After the initial withdrawal, you may continue to experience some of . So dumb-ass me I took him back and we re-married after a 4-month divorce. My attitude changed again and we started getting into more fights etc. We have nothing to talk about. But you are so addicted, and you cant get out of bed without it, so you might as well. I dont think he is going to be on Adderall once summer vacation begins, but hell be back on it once school starts. Because my time on it was shorter, though I took double what you take for the last three months, I can function without. Anyway, Im going to study abroad soon (which, by the way, makes taking the medication a very difficult endeavor), and the relationship is probably not going to continue during my time there. Good luck to anyone else whos trying to save an Adderall victim. building yourself up will take (cliche i know) time. Schwartz, for instance, ended up in the emergency room after experiencing an amphetamine-induced panic attack. Excuse the irateness. Im the type of person that realizes that Im distant when Im on my Adderall, and I feel guilty for it, but often tries to forget about it, and Im often disappointed about it, but I want to accomplish my goals to benefit our life for the futureto live comfortably, worry-freeyet I seem to control it better when Im around my girlfriend now, than when I first started taking it. I hope this jumble of information has helped someone, we must learn to draw the line between use and abuse, and if you dont abuse adderal you will be better off. Not so. How did I function on my own like that? Forever alone? Before this I didn't think I had adhd and I was popular and active in sports and social life. He built such a pretty picture of us actually having a future together, and he talked about it quite often. Because they both have such value!! he started to distance himself. Will I even get out of bed to go a job interveiw if I get one? He was adopted at five, and I realize he also may have deep seeded abandonement issues that I may have uprooted when I initially was backing away.Should I just give this one up? You are sick for a reason. Both of us felt like this relationship could actually go somewhere, until he started taking Adderall. Changing my day around his schedule so I dont miss his call, not going out at all so I can talk on the phone for however long he can, not being able to call him and ask him things or call him if I need him . Its getting to the point where I can sit in my room and not do anything all day and not even care. i.e. It may not display this or other websites correctly. They are very hard to help. We share a lot of similar interests except one. My name is Kathy Gilbert from United States My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. I was fatigued, spacey, forgetful, exhausted, I had major brain fog. He truly is. I hope this website can help others before its too late . Unfortunately the strengths in your relationships may not be enough to enlighten the person with ADD. I have pushed away most of my close friends because it's such a delicate balance of having the energy to be social / even wanting to talk to people. And remember, there are plenty of guys out there who dont take Adderall if thats truly important to you. I ultimately left her for my ex. Now I understand what happened to my relationship and the Girl that I love so much. He would come visit our kids and then hed let me sleep with him. I contacted Dr.baba for a love spell and he totally helped me! In those people, I supplemented with adrenal cortex. Before I started taking Adderall, I was always clingy in my marriage. I did terrible in school but ended up doing well later on. My heart goes out each of you. Excuse me for becoming 10000x more lazy and irresponsible while I am withdrawing and distant acting like I dont give a shit when I am on it. You feel doubt, insecurity, anxiety, on edge and the list goes on. That he has take. Adderall is a medication that has been used to treat ADHD since 1996. Based off of what you posted, it's not like you've got a job or any other obligations. I cant be single like at all so i always end up being with women I can treat bad because I get annoyed by them often. Suddenly she became distant, didnt give a crap what I was doing or how I felt. She explained to me that man was not what she thought he was going to be and he was really strange and freaked her out but while she was in NYC she had met someone else and they exchanged phone numbers. Then Greg helped her calm down and I no longer worried. Considering the current format, availability and usage patterns among Americans, we also need to ask how much [Adderall] is hurting and helping American society and American quality of life, Fong continues. I started taking it once in a while because it made me more social and it spun out of control. Before I left the conversation I told both of them that they should be ashamed of themselves and if they were truly spiritual empath humans that were on a higher level than anyone else they would not even think to look down upon anyone, specially the less privileged. a few months after being together i found out she took adderall and i didnt think much of it. By using this Site you agree to the following, By using this Site you agree to the following. I was waiting for him to pull my script. I LIKE being interested even more in my major and all the college stuff than i used to be without the adderall. He choose to misuse his drug he made bad decisions which led to him needing help leaving me here all alone while hes off getting better and learning to feel better about himself . Could it all be a matter of self-control, self-condemnation, confidence in ones abilities, or all of the above? I switched to vyvanse (basically the same as adrenal) to fix these issues. Serotonin is a dangerous substance that predisposes the patient to diabetes 2. Was being equals before just an illusion? I started to read more about adderall and learned that in fact it is the result of taking these drugs. Like he knows I care so much and will be there for him no matter how he treats me!