Because they are already taking their time. 56. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 12. Stop asking me why Im single! There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. 71. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Financially? "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Hanging on. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. At least my hair looks amazing. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? 3. The police? Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Now that is pretty f****** funny. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Congratulations, sir. It could always have been worse. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I agree, thanks for sharing. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. 2. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. How are you? Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! 30. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. "Hey You, I'm really good. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Physically? The answer is simple. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 15. - Anonymous. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Privacy Policy. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Don't Push It Too Far. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. I love you. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 4. Getting better with every passing second. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Hopefully, youll stay there. Im not single. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. How do you usually respond to the question? Just so you know, I value me time over we time. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! I will leave that up to your imagination. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 80. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Are you serious? Dont let your mind wander. 15. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 1. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. via: Pexels / George Pak. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. You have an old soul. 51. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? I always yawn when Im interested. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 1. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. 87. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. For more information, please see our You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Hi! The hottest single of the year is me. 16. Because your ass is out of this world! After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Sounds like effort to me. You dont need to say it. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. 1. Then the worms eat you. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Totally fine! Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 36. Finnish with this conversation! Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? At minding my own business? Youre totally on the same page. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Then they throw dirt in your face. Here's another way to respond to your crush. 4. 67. And it's time for me to make my escape. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Because they are already taking their time. Keep talking. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. 62. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Whats with all these questions? 75. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Nowadays, potential mates need money. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Moving in with Roommates? 90. You don't need to say it. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. 5. 15. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. 100. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. . Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. (Explained). That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Congrats, guys! Not Bad. 14. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. 77. What's your sign? Thats why Im single. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Because Im awkward and ugly. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. 3. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Everything is always better on payday right!? No, they're prison pants. 2. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 92. Nice outfit. Take Your Time. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Better inside than outside. 11. How did you get here? 20. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Maybe their roommate was sick. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Im single by choice. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Your email address will not be published. But it can be funny. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I'm used to it, anyway. "Any day above ground is a good day. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. *wink*. 3. This does not seem right. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. 13. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Shane from The L Word? Average, I think, that sounds about right. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 6. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Do you really care? This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). "Yeah, you're three years late. Socioeconomically? *sips wine/tea*. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 53. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Checklists & Reminders! But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. 10. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Yup, I dont share it. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. They might even steal it to use in the future. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Then you die. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. But, they will grow up into a dog. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Mentally? Best 45 seconds of my life. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. Hey, whered you get that nose? Because youre highly qualified. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. provided, of course, that he really is dead." I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. 91. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Youre a ground-hugger. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. 45. 1. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Happy, and I know it. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. My guardian angel be like 2. 5. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. 1. 2. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Have you met food? 10. Youre free to go. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. 58. 2. original sound - Tyren Sams. 98. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. 16. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Youll go far someday. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. 70. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. | Are you surviving? I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Still with us. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. I am not sure what you mean. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. 101. This one is good. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Its going great, really! I havent met the right one yet. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Thank you, it made my day. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." 86. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 74. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. 28. I'm happy! Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. 6. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. It can be good to just say it how it is. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Just Smile And Nod [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 66. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". You're the reason God created the middle finger. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 54. This one kills me! By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. 7. Im always there when I need me. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Life is up to something. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Canva. I'm loved! "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath.